Evil Monsters

I have had evil monsters in my life ... 

Unfortunately, they have never been so obvious is that guy up there. They always seem to come disguised as my best friends ... 

Everything is fine at the beginning, and then all of sudden, it seems their love turns into a mix of hatred and jealousy or something similar... And I am not really sure why given that my life is far from being perfect. It makes me always wonder if perhaps it is just my imagination or perhaps I am the problem, or maybe just crazy. 

But thank goodness I have my other friends around to tell me I am not the problem. 

My first two "BFF's" both tried to sleep with my boyfriend at the time - same boyfriend, and he was extremely hot, but that doesn't justify their actions. They both admitted to it so I know he didn't make it up. However, one was so evil she went as far as coming back on her admission of guilt to say that he kind of flirted with her, but she didn't want to tell me since I was so in love with him. Fucking bitch, if my boyfriend is hitting on you, I do want to know! I don't want to date a cheating asshole, and you should be the first to warn me. 

Now the current BFF supposedly tried to warn me about my current boyfriend being an asshole - which I know B you might agree that he is, but that's not the point. The point is she is not looking out for me. She just wants us to be over because she had a crush on him a year ago. 

Now not only is she married, but is a crush really reason enough to back off from a relationship? A kiss, yes! Even just a platonic date, yes ... I would walk away, even though she has dated a guy I had dated and it did not bother me, but the inverse situation would have. I just couldn't flirt with a guy who had been interested in her. But  that's just me and I don't expect the same view from everyone. However, my boyfriend was NEVER interested in her. He never even knew she had a crush on him. 

Do you expect your girlfriends to back off just because you said the guy is cute when you saw him - even though he has no interest in you and is crazy about one of them? 

LITTLE.BRAINS.

Rent a Friend

Robin Hood and I started dating in January after a complicated - but fun - 6 month of going back and forth.

Then we went through a dramatic break up. Well dramatic for me: he blindsided me. Try rationalizing your boyfriend breaking up with you on Saturday morning when Wednesday afternoon he told you how lucky he was to have you as an amazing girlfriend. 

And of course, a month later, we got back together. Nope I did not sit around and cry for a month waiting for him to call me back. I went to Iceland with a hot guy and had a fabulous time - sightseeing and having sex. Conversations was not this guy's forte though, which is why when Robin Hood reappeared, well I didn't ignore him. 

Anyhow, now we are back together, and everything is perfect. However, I am prepared to lose it all tomorrow, and I am ok with that. I survived the break up once, I can survive it again. 

However, my "BFF" is not taking  the rekindling too well. Now a little background on my "BFF" and I: she has a history of being jealous of me, only God knows why. She is pretty, she is smart, she is fun, and since she just got married, I was confident the boy rivalry was over for good and put behind. I guess I was wrong. It seems like she is intent on making Robin Hood and I break up, whatever it takes. 

Now if she didn't like him, I would get it. But they are friends, so shouldn't she be psyched about her best friend and friend dating? Or at least not care .... But she does. 

See she bumped into him Saturday night and here is what I received the next morning: "I bumped into Robin Hood last night, he was with Superman and two tall blond Russian girls, he wasn't doing anything wrong, but it was weird, and then he told me not to tell you that I saw him. I got really mad and told him I would anyways."

I thought it was odd  since he had told me before hand with who he was going out with, so I already knew all the details. 

I asked if perhaps he sounded like he was joking. She said she didn't know and didn't talk back to him for the rest of the night (obviously 'cause she was so mad for me.) A great Best Friend, right? 

Oddly enough, Robin Hood remembers the night differently: he said he bought her two drinks, they chit chatted for the rest of the night, and she hugged him goodbye. And she didn't bump into him. She rubbed against him from the back, and without knowing who it was, he said stop doing that, my wife is the jealous type.

Oddly all of those details seems to have slipped her mind. 

What do you think she is trying to do? I know he is not making it up 'cause I asked her about the drinks, and she brushed off the question saying she didn't really remember much. Selective memory perhaps ....  

Anyhow I think I am about to give up on her. Perhaps I will post a Craigslist ad for a new BFF. I am just not sure how to word the ad without sounding super weird and sketchy. What do you think my dear friends? Or maybe I will just RENT a friend. Yes this is for real. Check out the website: RENTaFRIEND.COM.

Of course, being curious, I checked out a few profiles and it seems so far all the postings are girls in their 20's , models for the most part. Is it just me or does it sound odd to you that young pretty models living in NYC are so eager to meet random people online to be their friends?

LITTLE.BRAINS.