Monogamy: natural or not?

Girl's night got a little wild. A friend of mine - who is in a relationship - almost kissed a guy. When I say almost, I mean the guy was literally a few inches of her mouth ... I want to believe that she stopped for the right reason, if I wasn't around to pull her hand, the chances of her ending up in his  bed the next morning would have been pretty high. 

Laetitia did - I guess -  the right thing, and told her boyfriend. She claims she loves him and wants to make things work, and that's why she told him. He forgave her and they both agreed on working on the relationship. 

Now if you were the culprit, would you have come clean? I mean if there is no way for your significant other to know about your indiscretion, do you risk it all in the name of honesty or not? 

Or do you think sex can really be separated from love? 

I used to think of sex in a very romantic way - only with my husband, after our wedding, and voila. I changed. I had sex before marriage. I had sex without being in love. I even had one night stands - not many - but still, I did. I used to believe in monogamy as well, but now I wonder ... Is monogamy natural?

I read a bunch of articles - some feel really bad about cheating, some don't ... some felt no guilt whatsoever -- is it because they didn't really love their partner? Or is life just complicated and very gray, with no white or black answers to every question ...

BOYS: true or false? 

The Crush Rule

Good Evening Sunshines,

I’m not even going to address your friend in this blog because we all know she’s just all shades of crazy I will however address the bigger “crush back off” question.

I think the rule of thumb is active pursuit. You can date someone your friend has a crush on as long as they are not actively pursuing them. The guy’s feelings don’t actually play into the equation at all.

Take Merlin for example, if you or Kate or even Jamie ended up dating him I’d be fine with that. Not just because he insists on shaving his head making him look like a cancer patient but because I’m not actively pursuing him. I’m not working the “come fuck me eyes” so he’s fair game.

Sparky on the other hand, that one would piss me off. I am aware I’m not going to get anywhere with him but I am actively pursuing him so in my books he’s not fair game......unless it turns out he likes Jamie in which case.....I’m over it lol J

But I definitely think the guideline is whether or not the friend is actively pursuing the guy. You can’t just like someone you have to be trying to do something about it which completely bones your married friend on yet another level. She just needs to fly away on her broom stick.

And Jamie don’t listen to her, the no dating fish thing was all her working and very little to do with me. (I think she’s lost her mindJ)

-The Honest Bitch 

Evil Monsters

I have had evil monsters in my life ... 

Unfortunately, they have never been so obvious is that guy up there. They always seem to come disguised as my best friends ... 

Everything is fine at the beginning, and then all of sudden, it seems their love turns into a mix of hatred and jealousy or something similar... And I am not really sure why given that my life is far from being perfect. It makes me always wonder if perhaps it is just my imagination or perhaps I am the problem, or maybe just crazy. 

But thank goodness I have my other friends around to tell me I am not the problem. 

My first two "BFF's" both tried to sleep with my boyfriend at the time - same boyfriend, and he was extremely hot, but that doesn't justify their actions. They both admitted to it so I know he didn't make it up. However, one was so evil she went as far as coming back on her admission of guilt to say that he kind of flirted with her, but she didn't want to tell me since I was so in love with him. Fucking bitch, if my boyfriend is hitting on you, I do want to know! I don't want to date a cheating asshole, and you should be the first to warn me. 

Now the current BFF supposedly tried to warn me about my current boyfriend being an asshole - which I know B you might agree that he is, but that's not the point. The point is she is not looking out for me. She just wants us to be over because she had a crush on him a year ago. 

Now not only is she married, but is a crush really reason enough to back off from a relationship? A kiss, yes! Even just a platonic date, yes ... I would walk away, even though she has dated a guy I had dated and it did not bother me, but the inverse situation would have. I just couldn't flirt with a guy who had been interested in her. But  that's just me and I don't expect the same view from everyone. However, my boyfriend was NEVER interested in her. He never even knew she had a crush on him. 

Do you expect your girlfriends to back off just because you said the guy is cute when you saw him - even though he has no interest in you and is crazy about one of them? 

LITTLE.BRAINS.

Rent a Friend

Robin Hood and I started dating in January after a complicated - but fun - 6 month of going back and forth.

Then we went through a dramatic break up. Well dramatic for me: he blindsided me. Try rationalizing your boyfriend breaking up with you on Saturday morning when Wednesday afternoon he told you how lucky he was to have you as an amazing girlfriend. 

And of course, a month later, we got back together. Nope I did not sit around and cry for a month waiting for him to call me back. I went to Iceland with a hot guy and had a fabulous time - sightseeing and having sex. Conversations was not this guy's forte though, which is why when Robin Hood reappeared, well I didn't ignore him. 

Anyhow, now we are back together, and everything is perfect. However, I am prepared to lose it all tomorrow, and I am ok with that. I survived the break up once, I can survive it again. 

However, my "BFF" is not taking  the rekindling too well. Now a little background on my "BFF" and I: she has a history of being jealous of me, only God knows why. She is pretty, she is smart, she is fun, and since she just got married, I was confident the boy rivalry was over for good and put behind. I guess I was wrong. It seems like she is intent on making Robin Hood and I break up, whatever it takes. 

Now if she didn't like him, I would get it. But they are friends, so shouldn't she be psyched about her best friend and friend dating? Or at least not care .... But she does. 

See she bumped into him Saturday night and here is what I received the next morning: "I bumped into Robin Hood last night, he was with Superman and two tall blond Russian girls, he wasn't doing anything wrong, but it was weird, and then he told me not to tell you that I saw him. I got really mad and told him I would anyways."

I thought it was odd  since he had told me before hand with who he was going out with, so I already knew all the details. 

I asked if perhaps he sounded like he was joking. She said she didn't know and didn't talk back to him for the rest of the night (obviously 'cause she was so mad for me.) A great Best Friend, right? 

Oddly enough, Robin Hood remembers the night differently: he said he bought her two drinks, they chit chatted for the rest of the night, and she hugged him goodbye. And she didn't bump into him. She rubbed against him from the back, and without knowing who it was, he said stop doing that, my wife is the jealous type.

Oddly all of those details seems to have slipped her mind. 

What do you think she is trying to do? I know he is not making it up 'cause I asked her about the drinks, and she brushed off the question saying she didn't really remember much. Selective memory perhaps ....  

Anyhow I think I am about to give up on her. Perhaps I will post a Craigslist ad for a new BFF. I am just not sure how to word the ad without sounding super weird and sketchy. What do you think my dear friends? Or maybe I will just RENT a friend. Yes this is for real. Check out the website: RENTaFRIEND.COM.

Of course, being curious, I checked out a few profiles and it seems so far all the postings are girls in their 20's , models for the most part. Is it just me or does it sound odd to you that young pretty models living in NYC are so eager to meet random people online to be their friends?

LITTLE.BRAINS.

Job Application

I know this is not our typical subjects to write about. This post is not about sex or alcohol or annoying people we wish we could murder, but I have to vent: I have been trying to polish my resume and cover letter for a job I am not even sure I want, and it is exhausting. 

Plus they wanted this detailed list of countries I have been to. Needless to say I think/hope that my long list will impress them, especially since it was such a pain in the ass to draft. Not only was it difficult to not be too repetitive - my favorite restaurant was .... my favorite moment was .... etc ... Plus it was hard to remember everything. They want dates .... well that I could not give. I don't remember which exact days I was in Russia, Ghana, Israel, Japan or Czech Republic, and my picture's timestamps are all wrong for some reason. Perhaps it is because of the plunge my phone took at the pool in Bangkok. 

Anyhow it is finally done. So now the even more fun part begins .... the waiting .... Will they be interested? If they are not, will they bother answering at all? they are, will I have to quit my current job? Exhausting thoughts, but perhaps it will all be worth it. 

How are you guys doing? 

Xoxo

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

About withholding sex ...

I used to be the queen of holding out while dating. It took me two years to give it up to my first boyfriend - I was a virgin so that kind of makes sense - and the second boyfriend had to wait about nine months.Then after that, it was a while with not sex because they never waited. They stopped calling after a month of waiting. 

Then I turned 23 and decided perhaps I was missing out on sex so I had my first one night stand and it was like an illumination: feelings were not needed to have amazing sex. That day was the day my holding out days were over forever. If you were hot, had a minimum of a sense of humor, that was it. No questions asked, no numbers exchanged, just pure fun. 

However, if I cared about a guy, I would hold out ... Call me crazy but I wanted to be sure he would call me back, even though some of my guys friends told me that they would not call back a girl who withheld sex for longer than two weeks. One friend said "withholding sex is the best way to get me to never call you back and ignore your messages" and another said "I don't like when the girl plays hard to get." 

But I didn't really care. I had a bunch of guy friends who said the opposite, and I decided to listen to them. 

However, these mixed opinions make it really hard for a girl to know what to do, even though it seems unfair that at this modern age, a girl still gets judged by her piers for a one night stand whereas guys get a high five from their buddies.  

But my point here, or shall I say my question is why do women in a relationship withhold sex? It just seems pretty stupid to me. First off, you are burning calories while having sex and since most girls are always trying to lose weight, well it seems stupid to kill yourself on a cardio machine when you could be having sex instead. And like Jamie said, you are kind of punishing yourself.

Random question: do you enjoy giving blowjobs or do you hate it?

 So why do girls do that? Have you ever had guy withhold sex from you? 

As for my slowing l like you said, I will not listen, will I? On the upside, I am away for 4 days, back for a day, and then gone for about 8 to spend time at the beach with my parents. So that should slow things down on its own, right? 

Get some sleep - both of you. 

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

No Trigger - Pure MADNESS

That's why I was so worried. Because of the lack of trigger. He did nothing wrong. He cooked, he was sweet, perfection, but I felt something was wrong. 

Maybe I felt like I was reliving the past. Same apartment, same routine, same conversations about Argentina, so why not the same break up?  Everything was perfect last time around too, until the day he completely turned on me and broke up. Maybe I am getting scared that we are getting to that point again. Maybe the relationship is moving to quick again? For him ... for me ... for both. Who knows? 

Anyhow, whatever it was, it was still going on this morning, and then POUF, it disappeared magically from one second to another. Completely gone! 

Perhaps it was the cooking or the rollerblading, or maybe my hormones are just calming down and my sanity is back, but I feel fine right now.  At least I think so. I haven't seen him yet. 

PS: so glad I can vent to you guys without really needing to justify myself 

 - Hope you both get some good sleep soon 

And about that jerk, f*** him and his attitude - and his small penis 

To break up or not to break up?

Having a cigarette has never sounded so good ... Breaking up has never seemed so urgent ... But I am trying to be smart. No hasty decisions, and especially  no smoking. I stopped February 2012. It would be really stupid to start again now, or anytime matter of fact. I don't have cigarettes anyway (but I could go buy some.) 

As for the breaking up, I know you would probably throw a party and send me a gift (perhaps a vibrator) if I went through with it, but I am too shaken up to do anything. I wouldn't even know what to tell him without me sounding completely crazy, so for now I am shutting up. 

But my shutting up also means that tomorrow he will be asking what is wrong with me 'cause I never shut up. Perhaps me dropping off the keys of his apartment - without him asking for them - will also raise some questions. I hope not. I have no answers. 

Why all these feelings? Well that it is also another question without any answer at the moment. How did my mood do a 180 in less than one hour is a mystery. It makes me want to cry, but I can't seem to cry. 

I tried sitting on random stairs, away from everyone, and nothing happened. I thought maybe when I get to my apartment, in my room, completely alone, then tears will start flowing, and then I would feel better, right? That's what everyone says: you feel better after. I wouldn't know if they are lying or telling the truth. The crying did not happen, so there was no good after feeling. 

It is like my brain is divided in two parts: one wants to cry and the other is saying "what for? you have nothing to cry for you moron?" I wonder what his brain is thinking. I wonder if it is divided too or if he is just busy sleeping now and completely oblivious to everything happening in my little brains. 

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

Penis Swords

I like all of them, but my favorite I have to say is Jamie's idea of the penis swords. However it could be misunderstood since penis sword is an actual expression in English, and the meaning is not pretty: "A sword penis is a term used to identify a man's penis after he has enjoyed lancing a woman's vagina while she is on her period." There was more, but it got a  little too graphic so I stopped there. 

Now the reason why I found this explanation is not because I am weird or obsessed with penis. I was Googling "sword penis" to find images that would be funny, and forgot to hit the "Image" button and then all this interesting articles came up. 

According to an online news-article called  " Get a job to buy me a new penis," a 64 year-old Bulgarian man got his penis chopped by his friend who was  playing with a Samurai sword. The friend got sentenced 6 years of jail time, but the penisless man got them to drop the charges. Not out of kindness, but because he wanted his friend to get a job so he could buy him a new penis . 

And also a tattoo artist decided to draw a 40 centimeter penis on this guy's back - the guy had asked for an oriental yen and yang tattoo. How much would that suck?Huh? 

Of course I also found a picture :) 

Not sure why the dudes are Asian - perhaps it is a reference to the Samurai  

Anyhow back to your amazing list, here are my additions:

a one night stand kind of guy: a condom

a guy scared of commitment: a Tiffany store with a big red cross or going up in flames - I will let you pick since I couldn't make up my mind

a guy who has weird pets: a cage 

a guy who is bad at sex: a box of Viagra

a guy who is too much into himself: a mirror 

PS: I want to know about the barking dog thing as soon as possible 

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

BITCH vs. BITCHY

So you are saying that what  my friend sent is not a bitchy move? Not a bitch move - that wouldn't be a bad thing - I am using the word BITCHY, which is a complete different meaning.

I know the nuance I just made might make no sense to anyone but me, but we have agreed that our brains do not work logically at all. Weirdly enough, they do seem to communicate with each other even without us talking to each other. Yes I am a little creeped out by the fact that we wrote kind of similar posts on our own respective blogs without even talking to each other before hand, but I will get over it eventually.

Anyhow, I get that it is normal that my friends hate him, but do I really have to listen to it non-stop and receive this kind of shitty articles?

As for work: no eye candy + your meltdown = perhaps you should be looking for another job my dear. Or am I mistaking?

Work-wise, I am having one of those days where it is really better I keep to myself what I am really thinking ... if not I might get fired or arrested for murder, and no lawyer will be able to bail me out .... so I am going to shut up now.

I have smaller boobs and my hair is a bit shorter ... but everything else is exactly me :) 

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

"The resurfacing guy"

So far, I have been able to brush off everybody's non stop comments about my ex not being the right guy for me, and how I took him back too easily, and how I am just his back up plan. My dear I am not talking about you of course. You and I, different story. 

But a friend of mine went as far as sending me an article called "Anatomy of the resurfacing guy" that basically says my ex is constantly recycling through women - me included -  and just wants to keep me in his rotation. Lovely, huh? 

A picture of what my "friend" sent me, just the kind of stuff you want tot wake up to in the morning! 

Apparently my friends are all being jerks for my own good. But isn't there a point where they should stop? 

I obviously made up my mind. I am back with him. And yes he might break up with me tomorrow. And guess what? I might break up with him tomorrow too 'cause even though the week end has been lovely, this afternoon he really got on my nerves for some stupid crap. 

Regardless of him pissing me off, if my friends would just back away, I think life would be a little easier.

Am I being a jerk for wanting them to shut up? 

PS: I know I am setting myself up in this post since you pretty much STRONGLY  agree with them, but if I don't complain to you that they are getting on my nerves, to whom will I? 

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

Lazy summer day

True, I admit it: we are back together, but this time around I think I am much more realistic about the outcome, meaning there might not be one. This might just be temporary.

Not saying I want to end it, but I am just not holding my breath. Argentina might not happen this time around either, and I am OK with that. I don't have much control over it, but then again, what do we really have control over in our lives? Not much. 

First off, you have no control over the kind of family you are born in or the country you are born at, and I think those two factors have huge effects on your life. And then as you grow, life just throws stuff at you, and sometimes you dodge it, some other times you don't. 

I am not sure if I should be dodging what has been thrown at me right now, or embrace it/him. But dodging it/him seems too much work ... going with the flow just seems easier and requires less effort. It is summer after all. Laziness is a must .... which is why I am just a few days late answering you my dear :) 

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

Throwing stuff at people

Whatever is meant to happen will happen, but what do you think will happen? What is your favorite outcome? Slice P... in small slices for revenge? Or throw stuff at him? 

My cousins hate that we are back together too. I am not sure who hates him more: you or them. You guys could start a group and split the cost for my North Korea flight so it is not too hard on your wallet. PS: you do know I fly for free, right? 

About high school, I totally understand what you mean. Don't get me wrong, I was not friendless. But I was kind of friends with very different people from very different cliques, but I never felt like I belong in any specific clique. I was my own clique. Me and my million brains :) 

Hope nights are going well my dear. 

As of me, my night with P.... was pretty great. I know this doesn't make for very interesting blogging - dishes flying would have been more entertaining but that's all I got. However, I am sure some drama will come up soon. It is not like anything is really simple between P.... and I. 

And now that I think about it, I do have something to share about last night. P.... finally admitted that him breaking up with me was a completely lunatic reaction and that all the "reasons" he fed me were bullshit. I know this should scare me 'cause it means he could break up with me this afternoon with no notice whatsoever, but I kind of feel relieved to know that it had nothing to do with me. Am I crazy? Should I have been throwing stuff at him last night? 

It does look kind of fun, doesn't it? 

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

Some days I just want to scream

I hate those kind of people, the 'I will do it myself' kind. I hope the job gets better my dear ... or perhaps you can just kill her. Yes I am being a little extreme, but I am kind of annoyed at people right now. 

After two hours on the runway waiting for our slot to take off, this woman decided to go to the bathroom, which made us lose your spot - and made us delayed for another hour. Then she had the nerve to ask me if I had any medication for her  urinary tract infection. Too much information lady! 

Then this other lady screamed at me because, once again, I had designed the plane the wrong way and her bag didn't fit. Ahhhhh! I wanted to scream back at her so badly! And of course the usual pissed off passenger who didn't get his choice between chicken and pasta. Again sir, we ran out of chicken, not fuel. Relax! 

I am also over ME and my stupid brain that doesn't know what it wants: one second  I want to change my phone number, move to another city and start a  clean slate, the other I want to go on a date with Matt - cute guy I met on the plane - and then for the most part, there is my ex in my head who is being so sweet and wants to cook etc etc ... ! AHHHHHH! Makes me want to scream at myself. 

PS: answers to your questions my dear: 

- The Penis was in Paris for a job interview. 

- And since we are officially not a couple - 'cause we don't text all the time - I figured I was off the hook for North Korea. Apparently I was wrong, on both counts. Seems like he thinks he is back into the boyfriend zone, and it seems you are still intent on sending me away. 

Not relevant whatsoever, but I couldn't find anything that was , so voila :) 

LITTLE.BRAINS.