Bi guys

Okay, this was inspired by B's comments.  I was curious have/would either of you date a bisexual guy?  I was curious because there does seem to be a double standard out there.  Most guys don't seem to mind if their person of interest is into girls too, but it seems like most women have a very strict thing about not dating guys who are into guys too.  Why is that?  I mean I get the straight guy and bi-girl thing (he's thinking threesome), Why not the other way?  

The Crush Rule

Good Evening Sunshines,

I’m not even going to address your friend in this blog because we all know she’s just all shades of crazy I will however address the bigger “crush back off” question.

I think the rule of thumb is active pursuit. You can date someone your friend has a crush on as long as they are not actively pursuing them. The guy’s feelings don’t actually play into the equation at all.

Take Merlin for example, if you or Kate or even Jamie ended up dating him I’d be fine with that. Not just because he insists on shaving his head making him look like a cancer patient but because I’m not actively pursuing him. I’m not working the “come fuck me eyes” so he’s fair game.

Sparky on the other hand, that one would piss me off. I am aware I’m not going to get anywhere with him but I am actively pursuing him so in my books he’s not fair game......unless it turns out he likes Jamie in which case.....I’m over it lol J

But I definitely think the guideline is whether or not the friend is actively pursuing the guy. You can’t just like someone you have to be trying to do something about it which completely bones your married friend on yet another level. She just needs to fly away on her broom stick.

And Jamie don’t listen to her, the no dating fish thing was all her working and very little to do with me. (I think she’s lost her mindJ)

-The Honest Bitch 

About withholding sex ...

I used to be the queen of holding out while dating. It took me two years to give it up to my first boyfriend - I was a virgin so that kind of makes sense - and the second boyfriend had to wait about nine months.Then after that, it was a while with not sex because they never waited. They stopped calling after a month of waiting. 

Then I turned 23 and decided perhaps I was missing out on sex so I had my first one night stand and it was like an illumination: feelings were not needed to have amazing sex. That day was the day my holding out days were over forever. If you were hot, had a minimum of a sense of humor, that was it. No questions asked, no numbers exchanged, just pure fun. 

However, if I cared about a guy, I would hold out ... Call me crazy but I wanted to be sure he would call me back, even though some of my guys friends told me that they would not call back a girl who withheld sex for longer than two weeks. One friend said "withholding sex is the best way to get me to never call you back and ignore your messages" and another said "I don't like when the girl plays hard to get." 

But I didn't really care. I had a bunch of guy friends who said the opposite, and I decided to listen to them. 

However, these mixed opinions make it really hard for a girl to know what to do, even though it seems unfair that at this modern age, a girl still gets judged by her piers for a one night stand whereas guys get a high five from their buddies.  

But my point here, or shall I say my question is why do women in a relationship withhold sex? It just seems pretty stupid to me. First off, you are burning calories while having sex and since most girls are always trying to lose weight, well it seems stupid to kill yourself on a cardio machine when you could be having sex instead. And like Jamie said, you are kind of punishing yourself.

Random question: do you enjoy giving blowjobs or do you hate it?

 So why do girls do that? Have you ever had guy withhold sex from you? 

As for my slowing l like you said, I will not listen, will I? On the upside, I am away for 4 days, back for a day, and then gone for about 8 to spend time at the beach with my parents. So that should slow things down on its own, right? 

Get some sleep - both of you. 

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

Equally Crazy

Sentences like “f*** him and his attitude – and his small penis” are why we’re all friends. Others might have suggest he was having an off night, but you and your awesomeness know better J

Tell me if I’m wrong but the first time you two dated didn’t you have this same issue? You were going out running like a million times a day. I would suggest you’re moving too fast and need a little slow down time but you didn’t listen last time so I doubt you will this time.....how about a comedy show? LMAO

We’re all equally crazy here, so no justification needed. We understand that our brains are wired differently than most.

P.S Did you manage to get any sleep Jamie? I’m just heading to bed myself....Got to love nights L

-The Honest Bitch 

Bitch > Cock

First things first Sparky has not now nor has he ever been married; he is however in a relationship. He is also a giant cock! He was giving me all sorts of fucking attitude on the phone tonight. I don’t know who he thinks he is but hot isn’t a free pass to be cock.

Did no one give the memo that Bitch is greater than Cock?

Second the barking story; Barking is a place and every time a driver calls in from there, they say they’re calling from “woof woof”. But some drivers won’t play the game and refuse to woof. Hence the no sense of humor badge......we’re strange on night shift I know.  

Third; I really need sleep so feel free to proof read this blog for me. For some reason last night was really draining, yet it wasn’t really busy.

Now on to you as much as I would like you to not be with P I feel like I need to know what brought on this “panic attack” for lack of a better word, so I can give informed advice. What was the trigger? Didn't you have a weird turn like this last time you were dating him?

Sleepy Time

THB

Bitchy Merlin 2.0

Oh, I’m not saying that. It’s a super bitchy move, but a bitchy move coming from a good place....Maybe.....I don’t actually know the friend but that’s my guess. And of course you don’t have to listen to them but like Jamie said if you don’t listen to them you can’t complain to them.

The way I see it, we can’t be all that crazy, after all our brains clearly work in a very similar way. It’s almost creepy how in sync they sometimes are. But in this case unlike you I’ve chosen to listen to my friends. I figure what are they odds they’re all wrong?

And PS I work with crazy....we’re not it J

Speaking of work; no it’s not time to look for a new job; minus the embarrassing melt down and lack of eye candy I’m enjoying it.  

And I did manage to find some eye candy tonight, the only good look driver magically grew a sense of humour, taking him from boring to perfect. Then I got home and entered his name in Facebook......The fucker is taken...oh and has a child! If he shaves his head I may as well call him Merlin 2.0. I’m not a happy bunny

I’ve decide the men at work should have to wear badges on their hi-vis vests to prevent this sort of thing happening again. I’ve even thought up designs for them

A man on a dog leash = taken

A pregnant lady and a man running away from her = has a child

A ruler = small penis

A high heel = gay

A dog with an open mouth as if it’s barking = no sense of humour (long story)

A women with a knife = crazy ex

Black lung = smoker

This is a fun game......do you have anymore to add?           

-THB

"The resurfacing guy"

So far, I have been able to brush off everybody's non stop comments about my ex not being the right guy for me, and how I took him back too easily, and how I am just his back up plan. My dear I am not talking about you of course. You and I, different story. 

But a friend of mine went as far as sending me an article called "Anatomy of the resurfacing guy" that basically says my ex is constantly recycling through women - me included -  and just wants to keep me in his rotation. Lovely, huh? 

A picture of what my "friend" sent me, just the kind of stuff you want tot wake up to in the morning! 

Apparently my friends are all being jerks for my own good. But isn't there a point where they should stop? 

I obviously made up my mind. I am back with him. And yes he might break up with me tomorrow. And guess what? I might break up with him tomorrow too 'cause even though the week end has been lovely, this afternoon he really got on my nerves for some stupid crap. 

Regardless of him pissing me off, if my friends would just back away, I think life would be a little easier.

Am I being a jerk for wanting them to shut up? 

PS: I know I am setting myself up in this post since you pretty much STRONGLY  agree with them, but if I don't complain to you that they are getting on my nerves, to whom will I? 

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

Throwing stuff at people

Whatever is meant to happen will happen, but what do you think will happen? What is your favorite outcome? Slice P... in small slices for revenge? Or throw stuff at him? 

My cousins hate that we are back together too. I am not sure who hates him more: you or them. You guys could start a group and split the cost for my North Korea flight so it is not too hard on your wallet. PS: you do know I fly for free, right? 

About high school, I totally understand what you mean. Don't get me wrong, I was not friendless. But I was kind of friends with very different people from very different cliques, but I never felt like I belong in any specific clique. I was my own clique. Me and my million brains :) 

Hope nights are going well my dear. 

As of me, my night with P.... was pretty great. I know this doesn't make for very interesting blogging - dishes flying would have been more entertaining but that's all I got. However, I am sure some drama will come up soon. It is not like anything is really simple between P.... and I. 

And now that I think about it, I do have something to share about last night. P.... finally admitted that him breaking up with me was a completely lunatic reaction and that all the "reasons" he fed me were bullshit. I know this should scare me 'cause it means he could break up with me this afternoon with no notice whatsoever, but I kind of feel relieved to know that it had nothing to do with me. Am I crazy? Should I have been throwing stuff at him last night? 

It does look kind of fun, doesn't it? 

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

Some days I just want to scream

I hate those kind of people, the 'I will do it myself' kind. I hope the job gets better my dear ... or perhaps you can just kill her. Yes I am being a little extreme, but I am kind of annoyed at people right now. 

After two hours on the runway waiting for our slot to take off, this woman decided to go to the bathroom, which made us lose your spot - and made us delayed for another hour. Then she had the nerve to ask me if I had any medication for her  urinary tract infection. Too much information lady! 

Then this other lady screamed at me because, once again, I had designed the plane the wrong way and her bag didn't fit. Ahhhhh! I wanted to scream back at her so badly! And of course the usual pissed off passenger who didn't get his choice between chicken and pasta. Again sir, we ran out of chicken, not fuel. Relax! 

I am also over ME and my stupid brain that doesn't know what it wants: one second  I want to change my phone number, move to another city and start a  clean slate, the other I want to go on a date with Matt - cute guy I met on the plane - and then for the most part, there is my ex in my head who is being so sweet and wants to cook etc etc ... ! AHHHHHH! Makes me want to scream at myself. 

PS: answers to your questions my dear: 

- The Penis was in Paris for a job interview. 

- And since we are officially not a couple - 'cause we don't text all the time - I figured I was off the hook for North Korea. Apparently I was wrong, on both counts. Seems like he thinks he is back into the boyfriend zone, and it seems you are still intent on sending me away. 

Not relevant whatsoever, but I couldn't find anything that was , so voila :) 

LITTLE.BRAINS.

Wet Dreams

I am so sorry you are sick. But on the upside, I googled the top 10 mistakes on interview day, and vomiting all over your future employer is not part of the top 10, so you will be fine no matter what.

No tequila shots for me last night, but a lot of WET DREAM cocktails - I swear I did not make this up. It is the name of a real cocktail at the Dream Hotel's rooftop PHD, in NYC. And guess what was happening at PHD last night? 

YEP! I found the HAPPY CANADA DAY party in NYC, just for you my dear. 

Now about my vagina, clearly, after a few WET DREAMS,  it found its way into my ex's apartment. 

On the upside, I did not change any of my plans for him. He just came along for the ride. Yep now that we are not a couple anymore, suddenly he has enough energy to do dinner, a comedy show, drinks and clubbing, and me until 5 in the morning :) 

I know I should be feeling confused and all worried about what all this means, and my friends were most definitely confused last night. But I feel fine. Yes, I know, I will probably be free falling from this high very soon, when things get complicated and nothing is so simple anymore, but I will worry about it then. 

Bird and B.O.B

Happy Canada Day,

Or should that be happy day before Canada Day because we all know I will be far too drunk to post anything tomorrow so I’m writing this today (Sunday) before the beers start flowing.

Now on to the bird, he is living in my neighbour’s tree....this tree to be exact. And yes I went outside just to document the evil bastard’s home. And yes while I was doing so he or maybe she (how do you sex a bird?) sung out of tune at me.

Now, let talk about your, mostly lacking in logic brain. I don’t have an issue with you talking to him per se; the issue is where that “talking” leads to. If you two were able to converse, in a fully clothed manor without the temptation of bouncing on each other’s naked bodies that would be fine....but we both know you can’t.

That is why I’ve been researching how to get you to North Korea; it looks like you either have to fly from China or Russia to get there. (That’s right I’ve done research)

As for your options I suggest option 3 you walk yourself down to your local friendly Ann Summers shop and buy yourself a B.O.B (Battery Operated Boyfriend). See I even gave it a nice name for you so your eyes remain in your head this time J

Although given the choice I’d pick cute new plane guy every time.  

I get that playing with fire can be fun and exciting however 3^rd degree burns are not so be careful and if you do get burned I will not throw that blog back in your face, I’ll just be waiting here with a Mojito.

Hugs

The Honest Bitch 

Rebounds

My dear, there is nothing wrong with rebounds and they certainly aren’t terrible, actually they’re a lot of fun. The issue is and will always be whom you decide to rebound with.

There is a reason....a valid reason; why I am willing to put you on a one way plane to North Korea if you choose to rebound on your ex’s penis again.

The reason is that man is Britney Spears circa 2007; he is one wrong comment away from shaving his head and smashing cars outside with an umbrella. He is not stable. I remind you of the fact you two broke up because you raised your voice at him....That’s not normal. And that’s coming from me the queen of not normal.

On the other hand I have no problem with your Iceland rebound; that is how a rebound is meant to work; you have fantastic meaningless sex, and then move on to bigger and better things. Moving on to the ex you’re rebounding from in the first place, is neither bigger nor better.  It’s actually the opposite. And isn’t life too short to fuck the already fucked?

And to answer you final question with a question, can you turn you current rebound into and worldwide Internet meme? .... I think not

My question to you is; at what point does a rebound become a recoil? And in an unrelated topic how do I shut up that bird outside my window?

-THB