To break up or not to break up?

Having a cigarette has never sounded so good ... Breaking up has never seemed so urgent ... But I am trying to be smart. No hasty decisions, and especially  no smoking. I stopped February 2012. It would be really stupid to start again now, or anytime matter of fact. I don't have cigarettes anyway (but I could go buy some.) 

As for the breaking up, I know you would probably throw a party and send me a gift (perhaps a vibrator) if I went through with it, but I am too shaken up to do anything. I wouldn't even know what to tell him without me sounding completely crazy, so for now I am shutting up. 

But my shutting up also means that tomorrow he will be asking what is wrong with me 'cause I never shut up. Perhaps me dropping off the keys of his apartment - without him asking for them - will also raise some questions. I hope not. I have no answers. 

Why all these feelings? Well that it is also another question without any answer at the moment. How did my mood do a 180 in less than one hour is a mystery. It makes me want to cry, but I can't seem to cry. 

I tried sitting on random stairs, away from everyone, and nothing happened. I thought maybe when I get to my apartment, in my room, completely alone, then tears will start flowing, and then I would feel better, right? That's what everyone says: you feel better after. I wouldn't know if they are lying or telling the truth. The crying did not happen, so there was no good after feeling. 

It is like my brain is divided in two parts: one wants to cry and the other is saying "what for? you have nothing to cry for you moron?" I wonder what his brain is thinking. I wonder if it is divided too or if he is just busy sleeping now and completely oblivious to everything happening in my little brains. 

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

Throwing stuff at people

Whatever is meant to happen will happen, but what do you think will happen? What is your favorite outcome? Slice P... in small slices for revenge? Or throw stuff at him? 

My cousins hate that we are back together too. I am not sure who hates him more: you or them. You guys could start a group and split the cost for my North Korea flight so it is not too hard on your wallet. PS: you do know I fly for free, right? 

About high school, I totally understand what you mean. Don't get me wrong, I was not friendless. But I was kind of friends with very different people from very different cliques, but I never felt like I belong in any specific clique. I was my own clique. Me and my million brains :) 

Hope nights are going well my dear. 

As of me, my night with P.... was pretty great. I know this doesn't make for very interesting blogging - dishes flying would have been more entertaining but that's all I got. However, I am sure some drama will come up soon. It is not like anything is really simple between P.... and I. 

And now that I think about it, I do have something to share about last night. P.... finally admitted that him breaking up with me was a completely lunatic reaction and that all the "reasons" he fed me were bullshit. I know this should scare me 'cause it means he could break up with me this afternoon with no notice whatsoever, but I kind of feel relieved to know that it had nothing to do with me. Am I crazy? Should I have been throwing stuff at him last night? 

It does look kind of fun, doesn't it? 

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

Wet Dreams

I am so sorry you are sick. But on the upside, I googled the top 10 mistakes on interview day, and vomiting all over your future employer is not part of the top 10, so you will be fine no matter what.

No tequila shots for me last night, but a lot of WET DREAM cocktails - I swear I did not make this up. It is the name of a real cocktail at the Dream Hotel's rooftop PHD, in NYC. And guess what was happening at PHD last night? 

YEP! I found the HAPPY CANADA DAY party in NYC, just for you my dear. 

Now about my vagina, clearly, after a few WET DREAMS,  it found its way into my ex's apartment. 

On the upside, I did not change any of my plans for him. He just came along for the ride. Yep now that we are not a couple anymore, suddenly he has enough energy to do dinner, a comedy show, drinks and clubbing, and me until 5 in the morning :) 

I know I should be feeling confused and all worried about what all this means, and my friends were most definitely confused last night. But I feel fine. Yes, I know, I will probably be free falling from this high very soon, when things get complicated and nothing is so simple anymore, but I will worry about it then. 

The rebound

Relationships are complicated, and not easy to deal with. I think that's something we can all agree on.

And as much as our friends are always trying to be there for us, to help us navigate through those complications, it seems to me they usually make it so much worse 'cause usually none of them agree, which only further complicates the inital problem you are facing. 

He cheated: do you forgive him or not? Your sister says forgive him, your best friend says don't. Who do you listen to? 

She slept with you on the first date: does it make her a slut or was the night's chemistry really special? Your brother says don't call  her back, your best friend asks if the sex was good. What do you do? 

You broke up less than a month ago, and you are dating.  All of your friends are concerned: too early to date again according to them.  Are they right or wrong? 

My opinion: they are wrong 'cause life is too short. I know this sounds cliche, but who cares. 

I just got back from a 5 day trip with what my friends called my rebound.

My ex and I only broke up in March, and yes we occasionally still have sex,  but that's not the point, that will be an entire  post on its own, probably written by B, my blogging and crime partner - who is threatening to send me to North Korea if I have sex with my ex one more time --> there will be a compilation of her threatening emails coming soon.

Anyhow, my point is that my rebound was loads of fun. We went to Iceland together and had a blast. I didn't fall madly in love with him - mainly because he got mad at me for not knowing what pop-tarts were and not liking sprinkles - I do like Skittles a lot though.  And I am not in a fragile state where I need to see him to keep myself from thinking about my ex. He was a fun distraction - the sex was really great and completely feelings-free and now I am over him.  

So why is everyone always warning against rebounds? What is so terrible about rebounds? 

Is this better? 

Hot guy Vs. cat ... I think I made the right choice.

LITTLE.BRAINS.