He's Leaving On A Jet Plane

No none of that, I would however like to send him to a North Korean Prison Camp for the remained of his life....since apparently I can’t send you lol Maybe your cousin will pitch in for that? And I know you fly for free but I didn’t think you’d be a willing passenger on that flight.

I think we were in the same cliques in high school. Like you I was friends with everyone. I had my close friends but I hung out with everyone from the drama guys to the Goths. As long as they were fun to be around I didn’t give a fuck who they were.

Nights are going great. It’s so much fun and the people are fantastic but sadly I believe I’m back on days/afternoons next week. But it has to be done I need to learn what’s going on there. I need get as much knowledge as I can as quick as I can because it’s anyone’s guess how long this job will last.

Well I’m glad he finally owed up to being a tool, wish he would have done it earlier and saved us all a lot of time but better late than never I guess.....I still don’t like him and yes you should throw stuff at him...heavy stuff....like and elephant or anvil.

-THB

Ps I can’t believe you finally admitted you’re back together with him.

Penetrated and Hockey Players

Lucky for you it’s a free world and you get to be penetrated by anything or anyone you want.....until that plane for North Korea takes off anyways J

In the meantime I’ll make sure I have lots of Mojito ingredients on hands at all times.

Work was good and murder free; I didn’t even see her. I absolutely love the night shift. The people are fantastic and we have a right laugh. Kate is trying to work out my type of guy so she can set me up for her amusement. She’s not having much luck so far. And claims I’m too picky......I’ve seen what I’ve dated...I’m not.

Tim Brent 

Jay Rosehill

Looks I like, clean, normally dark hair, taller than me and doesn’t look like he spends all day making him pretty. But in all honesty I normally end up dating guys who make me laugh. But if she could find me a Jay Rosehill or a Tim Brent (hockey players) I wouldn’t say no.

How goes things with your Penis?

-The Honest Bitch 

The Penis Vs Mount Vesuvius

Luckily I am on nights all next week so thankfully I won’t have to deal with or kill her...at least not yet. I’m kind of hoping they may let me stay on nights. I am learning more on there then I am on the day shift anyways. I just wish I didn’t feel like there was a coup going on against one of the few people there who actually seems willing to train me.

How did you not murder that passenger? Or at the very least throw her off the plane in a tight spiral. You know you could solve half your problems just by having more chicken on the plane lol Hungry passengers are asshole passengers. Well some are just assholes but the point stands.

Matt? There’s a Matt.......why aren’t you going on a date with Matt? I personally like options 1 and 2 and as for 3... Throw him in Mount Vesuvius and be done with him and his hypnotic penis. But that may just be because I don’t want to send you to North Korea, I would miss our emails too much.....BUT I WILL DO IT.

Really, he went to Paris for an interview but won’t leave the country for fun? You’re boyfriend is a strange penis my dear.

Hugs,

The Honest Bitch 

Some days I just want to scream

I hate those kind of people, the 'I will do it myself' kind. I hope the job gets better my dear ... or perhaps you can just kill her. Yes I am being a little extreme, but I am kind of annoyed at people right now. 

After two hours on the runway waiting for our slot to take off, this woman decided to go to the bathroom, which made us lose your spot - and made us delayed for another hour. Then she had the nerve to ask me if I had any medication for her  urinary tract infection. Too much information lady! 

Then this other lady screamed at me because, once again, I had designed the plane the wrong way and her bag didn't fit. Ahhhhh! I wanted to scream back at her so badly! And of course the usual pissed off passenger who didn't get his choice between chicken and pasta. Again sir, we ran out of chicken, not fuel. Relax! 

I am also over ME and my stupid brain that doesn't know what it wants: one second  I want to change my phone number, move to another city and start a  clean slate, the other I want to go on a date with Matt - cute guy I met on the plane - and then for the most part, there is my ex in my head who is being so sweet and wants to cook etc etc ... ! AHHHHHH! Makes me want to scream at myself. 

PS: answers to your questions my dear: 

- The Penis was in Paris for a job interview. 

- And since we are officially not a couple - 'cause we don't text all the time - I figured I was off the hook for North Korea. Apparently I was wrong, on both counts. Seems like he thinks he is back into the boyfriend zone, and it seems you are still intent on sending me away. 

Not relevant whatsoever, but I couldn't find anything that was , so voila :) 

LITTLE.BRAINS.

Sex but no text :p

Yes dear,

We have been spending more nights together than apart. But there is no texting really happening.

Tonight is an off-night for me. I am back in NYC and the Penis is still in Paris, and I feel great. I am not even sure if I do miss him or not.

So not a couple is my answer meaning no North Korea for me :)

Going to crash now - not enough sleep in Paris.

Let me know how your first Monday goes!

Xoxo

LITTLE.BRAINS.

Magic Mike and The Penis

Thank you my dear, I’m really enjoying it, at least this part of it, we’ll find out Monday how the day part of my job is.

And yes, there are some hot ones there. I particularly like one I call Light Blue (he wears a light blue hi-vis vest), everyone else calls him “Magic Mike”...I’m not sure I want to know why. He comes off as a sweetie, a little quiet, stays out of the messing around a lot of the guys do. He’s the type I crush on but don’t date. Don’t ask me why, I don’t get it myself.

Speaking of dating.....You’re dating that toss pot again! Call it what you want but you are. So enjoy Paris because you’re next stop is North Korea. And tell The Penis to enjoy it too because he is a dead man.

But I have to ask......how did you get him out of the country? Sex? Sex, is my guess.

My definition of a couple is simple, when you spend more nights together then apart (when possible) and when it’s not possible you text that you wish you could be together more nights then not.

So you tell me, are you a couple?

That damn bird is an asshole, but since I am sleeping in the day it’s a little less alarm clock like, I guess it has....worms to find or something.

-THB

The Penis

Good Morning,

Fantastic news I didn’t puke on the interview person and landed myself the job. I started last night and just got home, hence the late reply. I’m doing my training on nights this week and will be moving to afternoons next week, with the occasional night shift thrown in good measure.

It was a lot to take in last night but it was a lot of fun. I work with pretty much all men so....yeah that’s a perk to the job J

I can’t believe you found a Canada Day party....that is awesome and almost makes me want to reconsider North Korea....almost.

You and that penis or should I say that thing attached to that penis? All I can say is, if or when your do find yourself free falling aim for a glass of Tequila please.

When do you leave the US again and get away from The Penis?

-THB

And Oh, Happy 4^th of July  

The rebound

Relationships are complicated, and not easy to deal with. I think that's something we can all agree on.

And as much as our friends are always trying to be there for us, to help us navigate through those complications, it seems to me they usually make it so much worse 'cause usually none of them agree, which only further complicates the inital problem you are facing. 

He cheated: do you forgive him or not? Your sister says forgive him, your best friend says don't. Who do you listen to? 

She slept with you on the first date: does it make her a slut or was the night's chemistry really special? Your brother says don't call  her back, your best friend asks if the sex was good. What do you do? 

You broke up less than a month ago, and you are dating.  All of your friends are concerned: too early to date again according to them.  Are they right or wrong? 

My opinion: they are wrong 'cause life is too short. I know this sounds cliche, but who cares. 

I just got back from a 5 day trip with what my friends called my rebound.

My ex and I only broke up in March, and yes we occasionally still have sex,  but that's not the point, that will be an entire  post on its own, probably written by B, my blogging and crime partner - who is threatening to send me to North Korea if I have sex with my ex one more time --> there will be a compilation of her threatening emails coming soon.

Anyhow, my point is that my rebound was loads of fun. We went to Iceland together and had a blast. I didn't fall madly in love with him - mainly because he got mad at me for not knowing what pop-tarts were and not liking sprinkles - I do like Skittles a lot though.  And I am not in a fragile state where I need to see him to keep myself from thinking about my ex. He was a fun distraction - the sex was really great and completely feelings-free and now I am over him.  

So why is everyone always warning against rebounds? What is so terrible about rebounds? 

Is this better? 

Hot guy Vs. cat ... I think I made the right choice.

LITTLE.BRAINS.