Penetrated and Hockey Players

Lucky for you it’s a free world and you get to be penetrated by anything or anyone you want.....until that plane for North Korea takes off anyways J

In the meantime I’ll make sure I have lots of Mojito ingredients on hands at all times.

Work was good and murder free; I didn’t even see her. I absolutely love the night shift. The people are fantastic and we have a right laugh. Kate is trying to work out my type of guy so she can set me up for her amusement. She’s not having much luck so far. And claims I’m too picky......I’ve seen what I’ve dated...I’m not.

Tim Brent 

Jay Rosehill

Looks I like, clean, normally dark hair, taller than me and doesn’t look like he spends all day making him pretty. But in all honesty I normally end up dating guys who make me laugh. But if she could find me a Jay Rosehill or a Tim Brent (hockey players) I wouldn’t say no.

How goes things with your Penis?

-The Honest Bitch 

The Penis is coming to Paris

Congrats for the job my dear ... Many penis  men around you at work .... Any hot ones? 

So what is the definition of a couple to you? 

Dinner date. CHECK. 

Double date at comedy show.  CHECK. 

Drinks with friends. CHECK.  

Sex - multiple times. CHECK. 

Cuddle after sex. CHECK. 

Text all day. CHECK. 

Grab macaroons in the middle of work day. CHECK. 

Movies. CHECK. 

Dinner with best friend. CHECK. 

Sex, again. CHECK.

Using the word "couple." CHECK.

But I am still claiming to be single.

Me being delusional. CHECK.
Him acting like we never broke up. CHECK. 

Everyone around us saying we are nuts. CHECK. 

But I am not really worried about any of it. 

See we are not even really together, so we cannot really break up, and even if we did, it cannot be worse than the first time around when I totally got blindsided. I wasn't the least prepared to the break up, it wasn't easy for a few days ... Ok maybe it was more than just a few days, but I survived just fine.

So really, right now, it just seems to be a waste of energy to think about what will happen when it all goes to hell. I will just run to another country with another hot stranger. Or perhaps I will run to England since a good friend of mine promised me mojitos :) 

Off to Paris in about 2 hours, and the Penis is coming with. Don't ask how this happened. I don't know. 

But my cousin has a date planned for me in Paris so .... well  .... it should be interesting. 

Congrats again on the job dear! 

PS: how is the bird? 

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

Bird and B.O.B

Happy Canada Day,

Or should that be happy day before Canada Day because we all know I will be far too drunk to post anything tomorrow so I’m writing this today (Sunday) before the beers start flowing.

Now on to the bird, he is living in my neighbour’s tree....this tree to be exact. And yes I went outside just to document the evil bastard’s home. And yes while I was doing so he or maybe she (how do you sex a bird?) sung out of tune at me.

Now, let talk about your, mostly lacking in logic brain. I don’t have an issue with you talking to him per se; the issue is where that “talking” leads to. If you two were able to converse, in a fully clothed manor without the temptation of bouncing on each other’s naked bodies that would be fine....but we both know you can’t.

That is why I’ve been researching how to get you to North Korea; it looks like you either have to fly from China or Russia to get there. (That’s right I’ve done research)

As for your options I suggest option 3 you walk yourself down to your local friendly Ann Summers shop and buy yourself a B.O.B (Battery Operated Boyfriend). See I even gave it a nice name for you so your eyes remain in your head this time J

Although given the choice I’d pick cute new plane guy every time.  

I get that playing with fire can be fun and exciting however 3^rd degree burns are not so be careful and if you do get burned I will not throw that blog back in your face, I’ll just be waiting here with a Mojito.

Hugs

The Honest Bitch