Monogamy: natural or not?

Girl's night got a little wild. A friend of mine - who is in a relationship - almost kissed a guy. When I say almost, I mean the guy was literally a few inches of her mouth ... I want to believe that she stopped for the right reason, if I wasn't around to pull her hand, the chances of her ending up in his  bed the next morning would have been pretty high. 

Laetitia did - I guess -  the right thing, and told her boyfriend. She claims she loves him and wants to make things work, and that's why she told him. He forgave her and they both agreed on working on the relationship. 

Now if you were the culprit, would you have come clean? I mean if there is no way for your significant other to know about your indiscretion, do you risk it all in the name of honesty or not? 

Or do you think sex can really be separated from love? 

I used to think of sex in a very romantic way - only with my husband, after our wedding, and voila. I changed. I had sex before marriage. I had sex without being in love. I even had one night stands - not many - but still, I did. I used to believe in monogamy as well, but now I wonder ... Is monogamy natural?

I read a bunch of articles - some feel really bad about cheating, some don't ... some felt no guilt whatsoever -- is it because they didn't really love their partner? Or is life just complicated and very gray, with no white or black answers to every question ...

BOYS: true or false? 

Bi guys

Okay, this was inspired by B's comments.  I was curious have/would either of you date a bisexual guy?  I was curious because there does seem to be a double standard out there.  Most guys don't seem to mind if their person of interest is into girls too, but it seems like most women have a very strict thing about not dating guys who are into guys too.  Why is that?  I mean I get the straight guy and bi-girl thing (he's thinking threesome), Why not the other way?  

The Crush Rule

Good Evening Sunshines,

I’m not even going to address your friend in this blog because we all know she’s just all shades of crazy I will however address the bigger “crush back off” question.

I think the rule of thumb is active pursuit. You can date someone your friend has a crush on as long as they are not actively pursuing them. The guy’s feelings don’t actually play into the equation at all.

Take Merlin for example, if you or Kate or even Jamie ended up dating him I’d be fine with that. Not just because he insists on shaving his head making him look like a cancer patient but because I’m not actively pursuing him. I’m not working the “come fuck me eyes” so he’s fair game.

Sparky on the other hand, that one would piss me off. I am aware I’m not going to get anywhere with him but I am actively pursuing him so in my books he’s not fair game......unless it turns out he likes Jamie in which case.....I’m over it lol J

But I definitely think the guideline is whether or not the friend is actively pursuing the guy. You can’t just like someone you have to be trying to do something about it which completely bones your married friend on yet another level. She just needs to fly away on her broom stick.

And Jamie don’t listen to her, the no dating fish thing was all her working and very little to do with me. (I think she’s lost her mindJ)

-The Honest Bitch 

Renovations

Okay, I have nothing of interest to really say.  I have been working my ass off, and C has been working 84 hours this week.  He's also being a bit of an asshole, so we are barely grunting at each other.  But as of yesterday I am officially DONE.  TA DA!  And now I know why I am really lucky I got into college, because doing this shit for a living would suck balls.  Hell, I'm doing it for us, our home, and I still hate every second.  My summer is over:'(

Just an aside, but do you notice you women put up for more labels than me?  Is that a chick thing?

Be back in a little bit.  Doing laundry.

Evil Monsters

I have had evil monsters in my life ... 

Unfortunately, they have never been so obvious is that guy up there. They always seem to come disguised as my best friends ... 

Everything is fine at the beginning, and then all of sudden, it seems their love turns into a mix of hatred and jealousy or something similar... And I am not really sure why given that my life is far from being perfect. It makes me always wonder if perhaps it is just my imagination or perhaps I am the problem, or maybe just crazy. 

But thank goodness I have my other friends around to tell me I am not the problem. 

My first two "BFF's" both tried to sleep with my boyfriend at the time - same boyfriend, and he was extremely hot, but that doesn't justify their actions. They both admitted to it so I know he didn't make it up. However, one was so evil she went as far as coming back on her admission of guilt to say that he kind of flirted with her, but she didn't want to tell me since I was so in love with him. Fucking bitch, if my boyfriend is hitting on you, I do want to know! I don't want to date a cheating asshole, and you should be the first to warn me. 

Now the current BFF supposedly tried to warn me about my current boyfriend being an asshole - which I know B you might agree that he is, but that's not the point. The point is she is not looking out for me. She just wants us to be over because she had a crush on him a year ago. 

Now not only is she married, but is a crush really reason enough to back off from a relationship? A kiss, yes! Even just a platonic date, yes ... I would walk away, even though she has dated a guy I had dated and it did not bother me, but the inverse situation would have. I just couldn't flirt with a guy who had been interested in her. But  that's just me and I don't expect the same view from everyone. However, my boyfriend was NEVER interested in her. He never even knew she had a crush on him. 

Do you expect your girlfriends to back off just because you said the guy is cute when you saw him - even though he has no interest in you and is crazy about one of them? 

LITTLE.BRAINS.

No fish dating

Since we promised each other not to date fishes today, I feel like it should be documented somewhere. Where else than our blog?

This shall never happen to us!

Jamie are you in?

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

Rent a Friend

Robin Hood and I started dating in January after a complicated - but fun - 6 month of going back and forth.

Then we went through a dramatic break up. Well dramatic for me: he blindsided me. Try rationalizing your boyfriend breaking up with you on Saturday morning when Wednesday afternoon he told you how lucky he was to have you as an amazing girlfriend. 

And of course, a month later, we got back together. Nope I did not sit around and cry for a month waiting for him to call me back. I went to Iceland with a hot guy and had a fabulous time - sightseeing and having sex. Conversations was not this guy's forte though, which is why when Robin Hood reappeared, well I didn't ignore him. 

Anyhow, now we are back together, and everything is perfect. However, I am prepared to lose it all tomorrow, and I am ok with that. I survived the break up once, I can survive it again. 

However, my "BFF" is not taking  the rekindling too well. Now a little background on my "BFF" and I: she has a history of being jealous of me, only God knows why. She is pretty, she is smart, she is fun, and since she just got married, I was confident the boy rivalry was over for good and put behind. I guess I was wrong. It seems like she is intent on making Robin Hood and I break up, whatever it takes. 

Now if she didn't like him, I would get it. But they are friends, so shouldn't she be psyched about her best friend and friend dating? Or at least not care .... But she does. 

See she bumped into him Saturday night and here is what I received the next morning: "I bumped into Robin Hood last night, he was with Superman and two tall blond Russian girls, he wasn't doing anything wrong, but it was weird, and then he told me not to tell you that I saw him. I got really mad and told him I would anyways."

I thought it was odd  since he had told me before hand with who he was going out with, so I already knew all the details. 

I asked if perhaps he sounded like he was joking. She said she didn't know and didn't talk back to him for the rest of the night (obviously 'cause she was so mad for me.) A great Best Friend, right? 

Oddly enough, Robin Hood remembers the night differently: he said he bought her two drinks, they chit chatted for the rest of the night, and she hugged him goodbye. And she didn't bump into him. She rubbed against him from the back, and without knowing who it was, he said stop doing that, my wife is the jealous type.

Oddly all of those details seems to have slipped her mind. 

What do you think she is trying to do? I know he is not making it up 'cause I asked her about the drinks, and she brushed off the question saying she didn't really remember much. Selective memory perhaps ....  

Anyhow I think I am about to give up on her. Perhaps I will post a Craigslist ad for a new BFF. I am just not sure how to word the ad without sounding super weird and sketchy. What do you think my dear friends? Or maybe I will just RENT a friend. Yes this is for real. Check out the website: RENTaFRIEND.COM.

Of course, being curious, I checked out a few profiles and it seems so far all the postings are girls in their 20's , models for the most part. Is it just me or does it sound odd to you that young pretty models living in NYC are so eager to meet random people online to be their friends?

LITTLE.BRAINS.

Job Application

I know this is not our typical subjects to write about. This post is not about sex or alcohol or annoying people we wish we could murder, but I have to vent: I have been trying to polish my resume and cover letter for a job I am not even sure I want, and it is exhausting. 

Plus they wanted this detailed list of countries I have been to. Needless to say I think/hope that my long list will impress them, especially since it was such a pain in the ass to draft. Not only was it difficult to not be too repetitive - my favorite restaurant was .... my favorite moment was .... etc ... Plus it was hard to remember everything. They want dates .... well that I could not give. I don't remember which exact days I was in Russia, Ghana, Israel, Japan or Czech Republic, and my picture's timestamps are all wrong for some reason. Perhaps it is because of the plunge my phone took at the pool in Bangkok. 

Anyhow it is finally done. So now the even more fun part begins .... the waiting .... Will they be interested? If they are not, will they bother answering at all? they are, will I have to quit my current job? Exhausting thoughts, but perhaps it will all be worth it. 

How are you guys doing? 

Xoxo

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

Respectable V Money

After a conversation with an old work colleague I’ve discovered I’m earning less in my new “respectable” job then I would be in my old frowned upon retail job.

I’m not a idiot I realized I was earning less than I was on my night-shifts, my old job paid night rates and this one doesn’t but I didn’t know I was being screwed on my day rates too.

After bills I walk away with a grand total of a £100 spare a week.....bearing in mind I live at home!! The plan was, if I liked this job and they took me on, to move, at this rate, for that to happen I need to find myself a rich man.

I’ve been trying to look at this job as training (hence me tolerating the abysmal pay) it’s in an industry I really want to get into, because there is good money to be earned. But 37 miles each way for 100 spendable pounds a week is enough to make the best of us rant.

Then last night I was complaining to Will that there was no eye candy to look at it (both Sparky and Merlin were off) and he said “so I never have any eye candy to look at”. The dude earns £30,000 a year.....I earn (if my math is right) after tax £10,400 a year.....I’d earn more asking “would you like fries with that?” Eye candy isn’t too much to ask for, now is it!?

Don’t get me wrong despite this rant I love the job, but I just find it crazy that my old job that is frowned upon is actually better paying then my new so called respectable one.

-The Honest Bitch  

Long Weekend!

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About withholding sex ...

I used to be the queen of holding out while dating. It took me two years to give it up to my first boyfriend - I was a virgin so that kind of makes sense - and the second boyfriend had to wait about nine months.Then after that, it was a while with not sex because they never waited. They stopped calling after a month of waiting. 

Then I turned 23 and decided perhaps I was missing out on sex so I had my first one night stand and it was like an illumination: feelings were not needed to have amazing sex. That day was the day my holding out days were over forever. If you were hot, had a minimum of a sense of humor, that was it. No questions asked, no numbers exchanged, just pure fun. 

However, if I cared about a guy, I would hold out ... Call me crazy but I wanted to be sure he would call me back, even though some of my guys friends told me that they would not call back a girl who withheld sex for longer than two weeks. One friend said "withholding sex is the best way to get me to never call you back and ignore your messages" and another said "I don't like when the girl plays hard to get." 

But I didn't really care. I had a bunch of guy friends who said the opposite, and I decided to listen to them. 

However, these mixed opinions make it really hard for a girl to know what to do, even though it seems unfair that at this modern age, a girl still gets judged by her piers for a one night stand whereas guys get a high five from their buddies.  

But my point here, or shall I say my question is why do women in a relationship withhold sex? It just seems pretty stupid to me. First off, you are burning calories while having sex and since most girls are always trying to lose weight, well it seems stupid to kill yourself on a cardio machine when you could be having sex instead. And like Jamie said, you are kind of punishing yourself.

Random question: do you enjoy giving blowjobs or do you hate it?

 So why do girls do that? Have you ever had guy withhold sex from you? 

As for my slowing l like you said, I will not listen, will I? On the upside, I am away for 4 days, back for a day, and then gone for about 8 to spend time at the beach with my parents. So that should slow things down on its own, right? 

Get some sleep - both of you. 

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

better yet

Don't fuck him or his small penis.  You will find a chagebin the attitude.  I've never been one to advise holding out, because it seems like punishing yourself at the same time, but if he has such s small penis perhaps you are better off with the stand in toys.

Equally Crazy

Sentences like “f*** him and his attitude – and his small penis” are why we’re all friends. Others might have suggest he was having an off night, but you and your awesomeness know better J

Tell me if I’m wrong but the first time you two dated didn’t you have this same issue? You were going out running like a million times a day. I would suggest you’re moving too fast and need a little slow down time but you didn’t listen last time so I doubt you will this time.....how about a comedy show? LMAO

We’re all equally crazy here, so no justification needed. We understand that our brains are wired differently than most.

P.S Did you manage to get any sleep Jamie? I’m just heading to bed myself....Got to love nights L

-The Honest Bitch 

No Trigger - Pure MADNESS

That's why I was so worried. Because of the lack of trigger. He did nothing wrong. He cooked, he was sweet, perfection, but I felt something was wrong. 

Maybe I felt like I was reliving the past. Same apartment, same routine, same conversations about Argentina, so why not the same break up?  Everything was perfect last time around too, until the day he completely turned on me and broke up. Maybe I am getting scared that we are getting to that point again. Maybe the relationship is moving to quick again? For him ... for me ... for both. Who knows? 

Anyhow, whatever it was, it was still going on this morning, and then POUF, it disappeared magically from one second to another. Completely gone! 

Perhaps it was the cooking or the rollerblading, or maybe my hormones are just calming down and my sanity is back, but I feel fine right now.  At least I think so. I haven't seen him yet. 

PS: so glad I can vent to you guys without really needing to justify myself 

 - Hope you both get some good sleep soon 

And about that jerk, f*** him and his attitude - and his small penis 

insomnia

I freaking hate being up all fucking night.  I've gotten less than 1 hour sleep in grand total tonight.  What a pain in the ass.

Bitch > Cock

First things first Sparky has not now nor has he ever been married; he is however in a relationship. He is also a giant cock! He was giving me all sorts of fucking attitude on the phone tonight. I don’t know who he thinks he is but hot isn’t a free pass to be cock.

Did no one give the memo that Bitch is greater than Cock?

Second the barking story; Barking is a place and every time a driver calls in from there, they say they’re calling from “woof woof”. But some drivers won’t play the game and refuse to woof. Hence the no sense of humor badge......we’re strange on night shift I know.  

Third; I really need sleep so feel free to proof read this blog for me. For some reason last night was really draining, yet it wasn’t really busy.

Now on to you as much as I would like you to not be with P I feel like I need to know what brought on this “panic attack” for lack of a better word, so I can give informed advice. What was the trigger? Didn't you have a weird turn like this last time you were dating him?

Sleepy Time

THB

To break up or not to break up?

Having a cigarette has never sounded so good ... Breaking up has never seemed so urgent ... But I am trying to be smart. No hasty decisions, and especially  no smoking. I stopped February 2012. It would be really stupid to start again now, or anytime matter of fact. I don't have cigarettes anyway (but I could go buy some.) 

As for the breaking up, I know you would probably throw a party and send me a gift (perhaps a vibrator) if I went through with it, but I am too shaken up to do anything. I wouldn't even know what to tell him without me sounding completely crazy, so for now I am shutting up. 

But my shutting up also means that tomorrow he will be asking what is wrong with me 'cause I never shut up. Perhaps me dropping off the keys of his apartment - without him asking for them - will also raise some questions. I hope not. I have no answers. 

Why all these feelings? Well that it is also another question without any answer at the moment. How did my mood do a 180 in less than one hour is a mystery. It makes me want to cry, but I can't seem to cry. 

I tried sitting on random stairs, away from everyone, and nothing happened. I thought maybe when I get to my apartment, in my room, completely alone, then tears will start flowing, and then I would feel better, right? That's what everyone says: you feel better after. I wouldn't know if they are lying or telling the truth. The crying did not happen, so there was no good after feeling. 

It is like my brain is divided in two parts: one wants to cry and the other is saying "what for? you have nothing to cry for you moron?" I wonder what his brain is thinking. I wonder if it is divided too or if he is just busy sleeping now and completely oblivious to everything happening in my little brains. 

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

Welcome "home" Jamie

So excited you are back from your vacation - I am finally going to get some sort of slack for being back with my ex. B was threatening to send me to North Korea.

Not sure if she is giving me the silence treatment or if she is too busy stalking married men on Facebook to write ... perhaps this post will make her react.

xoxo

LITTLE.BRAINS.

Penis Swords

I like all of them, but my favorite I have to say is Jamie's idea of the penis swords. However it could be misunderstood since penis sword is an actual expression in English, and the meaning is not pretty: "A sword penis is a term used to identify a man's penis after he has enjoyed lancing a woman's vagina while she is on her period." There was more, but it got a  little too graphic so I stopped there. 

Now the reason why I found this explanation is not because I am weird or obsessed with penis. I was Googling "sword penis" to find images that would be funny, and forgot to hit the "Image" button and then all this interesting articles came up. 

According to an online news-article called  " Get a job to buy me a new penis," a 64 year-old Bulgarian man got his penis chopped by his friend who was  playing with a Samurai sword. The friend got sentenced 6 years of jail time, but the penisless man got them to drop the charges. Not out of kindness, but because he wanted his friend to get a job so he could buy him a new penis . 

And also a tattoo artist decided to draw a 40 centimeter penis on this guy's back - the guy had asked for an oriental yen and yang tattoo. How much would that suck?Huh? 

Of course I also found a picture :) 

Not sure why the dudes are Asian - perhaps it is a reference to the Samurai  

Anyhow back to your amazing list, here are my additions:

a one night stand kind of guy: a condom

a guy scared of commitment: a Tiffany store with a big red cross or going up in flames - I will let you pick since I couldn't make up my mind

a guy who has weird pets: a cage 

a guy who is bad at sex: a box of Viagra

a guy who is too much into himself: a mirror 

PS: I want to know about the barking dog thing as soon as possible 

LITTLE.BRAINS. 

Bitchy Merlin 2.0

Oh, I’m not saying that. It’s a super bitchy move, but a bitchy move coming from a good place....Maybe.....I don’t actually know the friend but that’s my guess. And of course you don’t have to listen to them but like Jamie said if you don’t listen to them you can’t complain to them.

The way I see it, we can’t be all that crazy, after all our brains clearly work in a very similar way. It’s almost creepy how in sync they sometimes are. But in this case unlike you I’ve chosen to listen to my friends. I figure what are they odds they’re all wrong?

And PS I work with crazy....we’re not it J

Speaking of work; no it’s not time to look for a new job; minus the embarrassing melt down and lack of eye candy I’m enjoying it.  

And I did manage to find some eye candy tonight, the only good look driver magically grew a sense of humour, taking him from boring to perfect. Then I got home and entered his name in Facebook......The fucker is taken...oh and has a child! If he shaves his head I may as well call him Merlin 2.0. I’m not a happy bunny

I’ve decide the men at work should have to wear badges on their hi-vis vests to prevent this sort of thing happening again. I’ve even thought up designs for them

A man on a dog leash = taken

A pregnant lady and a man running away from her = has a child

A ruler = small penis

A high heel = gay

A dog with an open mouth as if it’s barking = no sense of humour (long story)

A women with a knife = crazy ex

Black lung = smoker

This is a fun game......do you have anymore to add?           

-THB